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This blog post is difficult to write. It's been a month since my sweet girl passed away, and words / photos could never truly capture how much she meant to me.

I got Daisy in 2008 when she was 8 weeks old from a breeder in northern Arizona. I was 21 at the time and found her in a classified's ad in the newspaper. Back then I was in an abusive relationship (my first love) and the two of us went to a motel in Tempe to pick her up. Originally I had reserved one of the boy dogs in the litter, because they were half the price. When I arrived there was a playpen area filled with all the puppies and their parents. Looking back it's a little sad how we take pets away from their parents brothers and sisters to be with us... The breeder and I spoke briefly and he handed me a dog after I paid him. She was so cute! I held her against my chest the whole ride home. A couple hours later my boyfriends brother came over to meet our dog and he pointed out the we had been given a girl not a boy. I called the breeder and explained we had the "wrong" dog, but I already loved her too much and I wouldn't be able to return her. He didn't mind, and from then on instead of having a dog named "Doug" I had a dog named "Daisy".

Daisy was with me for most of my adult life (21-34 years old). She could be needy or annoying, but overall she was just the sweetest thing and made me so happy. She would lick my tears away and lay with me for hours during some of the lowest points in my life. She would dance for me and hop around to make me laugh when I needed it the most. There were points during our time together where she lived with my mom and sister Emma, because I couldn't have pets where I lived at the time, and for (4) months I had moved to California without her. Looking back on those times now makes me feel so guilty, what I would do to have more time with her now! I also feel bad when I think about anytime I snapped at her for peeing on the floor or left her home alone to hangout with friends. Even though I feel bad about these moments I know what a loving and forgiving dog she was and that she doesn't feel like those moments defined how I felt about her.

In 2017 we moved to San Diego together and she helped me make friends along the way. Daisy preferred the attention of people, and really had no interest in making friends with other dogs. If we went to the park she was more interested in crashing people's picnics than running around for exercise. When we went in the car she loved to stand on my left thigh and look out the window. In my opinion she was a deep thinker with a big heart. She could snuggle with you for the whole day if you let her, and for most of her life she never barked. Her little body was like having a living stuffed animal and brought me such comfort when I would spoon with her or hold her front paws.

When I started dating Matt in 2019 I used to leave her at home to hangout with him. Again, looking back I wish I had brought her because in 2020 they became the best of friends. He brought new life into her, and I saw this spunky silly side of her shine every day for the remainder of her life. The two of them had a love that was so deep for such a short amount of time. I believe that Matt's love gave her extra years to her life, and for that I will always be thankful.

Last month Matt and I had planned a trip to Hawaii and had my dad come out and stay with Daisy while we were away. During our trip we noticed on our security cameras that she wasn't being paid attention to as much as we would like, and she wasn't eating or running around as much either. The night we came home she was curled up in a towel on chair in our living room. I went to pick her up and she felt weightless. It was terrifying and for the next couple days we struggled to get her to eat. I took her to the vet and they gave her some medicine and did some tests. Back in April we had learned she had kidney disease, so when the vet told us her levels had tripled since July it wasn't a total shock. How can we ever forgive ourselves for going on that trip? Before we left her energy and behavior was normal and she seemed so happy, but sadly pets tend to mask their pain and there's no way her levels could have increased that much in one week so she probably had been in pain for awhile.

After discussing our options with the vet that night, we decided to put her to sleep. She had turned into a vegetable and was no longer the spunky silly dog she had been a week before. I didn't want her to have to take medicine to be able to eat, and then more medicine to not feel sick after, but mostly I didn't want her to be in pain just for our own selfish comfort of having her around in our life. We were lucky enough to find someone online who came to our home the next day. That morning we took Daisy to the park at the bay across the street from our home and let her lay in the sun which was something she loved to do. She was so peaceful, looking out into the water observing the people at the park. It felt like she was reflecting on the life she had and was totally cool with that day being the last one she had. The women who came to our home was very sweet, and the energy exchange she had with Daisy when she arrived led me to believe Daisy felt safe with her.

She passed in our bed which was her favorite place to be, with Matt and I holding her paw and rubbing her back looking into her eyes. It was probably the most peaceful way to pass away, and I am so grateful that is how it happened. I will never forget all the memories and precious moments I had with Daisy, nor will I forget the amount of love she gave me for 13 + years. I am so glad that we found each other that day in the motel room, and her memory will live in my heart for the rest of my life.

May you rest in peace my sweet girl, I will always love you.


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